ADHD and S-E-X

ADHD isn’t just about struggling to pay attention or having spells of feeling hyper, it can affect relationships, including your sex life. Ever wondered why you get bored in the bedroom easily or get obsessed with a certain position or sex act?  If you have ADHD, it might be worth looking a little closer.

More people are being diagnosed with ADHD and it’s estimated that as many as  
40% of people with ADHD have some sort of sexual struggle. Whether that’s not feeling fulfilled in the bedroom (or kitchen, or the great outdoors – whatever it is that’s getting you going), finding it hard to handle rejection, taking risks or changing your mind about what you want.

Some people with ADHD can hyper-fixate on sex, whilst others might struggle to focus on the intimacy part, preferring to just get down to business.

On the flip side, when you have ADHD you might find that sex is exciting, impulsive, fun and something you  always  look forward to (that’s kind of how it should be if you ask us).

Everyone’s different though, and when it comes to ADHD there’s no truer statement.

If you’re in a relationship and ADHD is stopping you from living out your best sex life, then here are six ways to stop ADHD from being the third wheel in the relationship:

  1. Take the time to be intimate with each other
    Aside from sex, take the time to connect with each other and spend time together so that both partners feel valued, understood and wanted. Hyperfocusing isn’t always the best way.

  2. Understanding rejection sensitivity
    Feeling sensitive to rejection is something that all of us feel at times, but it can be magnified if you have ADHD. Rejection sensitivity is a thing with the condition. If you’re feeling rejected, speak to your partner about it so you understand each other.

  3. Think about the risks
    If you’re taking risks with your contraception, pushing the boundaries in the relationship or taking risks with your body then try and get to a point where you’re thinking about it a little more clearly if you can. Being impulsive = exciting but it can hurt your relationship.

  4. Being in the moment
    Finding it hard to stay focused during sex? Get rid of any distractions that are going on in the bedroom. This might be switching off porn during sex, blindfolding each other or even having sex in the dark.
  1. Talk about it
    Being open about how you’re feeling. If you’re not enjoying being touched in a certain way or at the moment - tell them! Don’t let yourself feel uncomfortable and your partner be confused.
  1. Mix it up
    If you get bored easily, or want to try new things, then let your partner know that and work out how you’re going to do that together.

    Sexual compatibility is important, but so’s both of you being happy and satisfied.